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  • today I don't feel pretty
    Imported Pictures
    September 08, 2008
    These are pictures Nexopia has moved into the gallery when we updated our picture system.

today I don't feel pretty
1 of 6
 
today I don't feel pretty
The big city girl has returned to the small country town.
Theatre is the only way to live...

BASICS

Height:174 cm - 178 cm (5'9" - 5'10")
Weight:65 Kg - 68 Kg (141 lbs - 150 lbs)
Sexual Orientation:Heterosexual
Dating:Single
Living Situation:Living with parents/relatives
Location:Vernon, Okanagan, British Columbia, Canada

INTERESTS

Reading Material:Non-fiction, Poetry
Art:Acting, Body Art, Drawing, Painting, Photography, Pottery, Theatre Directing, Writing
Animals/Pets:Cats, Dogs, Rabbits
Music:Alternative, Classic Rock, Classical, Emo, Garage, Hip-Hop, Jazz, Pop, Progressive, Punk, Rap, Rapcore, Rock, Ska
Activities:Driving, Listening to music, Partying, Reading, Shopping, Flailing, Dancing
Outdoor:Going to the beach, Exploring, Sightseeing, Suntanning

LET'S PLAY "GET TO KNOW ME"

Jake
September 17, 2007


Third trimester. 6 months along. 3 months to go. However you put it, Jakey's getting bigger and so am I.

I was living it up in Calgary. making friends, having fun, working it out, schooling it up, blah, blah, blah, etc. Now I've returned to the small, backwards-ness of V-town.

I'll be coming home
just to be alone.



OK Fall Grad 99 (Grade 8 @ SOSS)
Seaton Grad 04
MRC Tech Grad 06


in the forest, we are hiding
unmarked graves where flowers grow


If i was a boy, my name would have been Jerry... but i was a girl, so i am Jessica. And my brother is Jerry. But, since there are so many jessica's, and it is a boring name, it is now jessiKa... ooooOOOOoo, am i unique or what? yes, i guess it is not. Anyways, my friends call me jes, jeka, ika; you can call me whatever, just be nice about it i guess

Almost every single day of the week
I will wash the dishes
While you go have a beer


Ohkay, game time!!!! guess the name of the song and band in my pic titles! And... GO!!!! Colin has 2 points; Rickyrod has a point. And... that game died VERY quickly. Pansies.

surrender every Word, every Thought, every Sound
surrender every Touch, every Smile, every Frown
surrender all the Pain we've Endured until Now
surrender all the Hope that i lost, She was Found
surrender Yourself to Me


Ow. My eye.

Today I don't feel pretty,
and I'm tired of trying to fit right in,
don't think that you're so great
cuz being great must suck


So, I wanna be a highschool teacher. Imagine. Weekends off. Pro-D days off. Thanksgiving off. Christmas off. Random week in March off. Easter off. Summer off. Nice. I swear, it's that and the extremely high pay that our overworked teachers get that made me realize, "hey, I want to do this for the rest of my life." Teaching is about helping kids find themselves and grow into the people that may bring a cure to cancer, end wars, lead our countries, or even bag our groceries. And teaching a subject that lets them communicate what they are feeling, either right out or buried under metaphors, helps them do just that. Talk to almost anyone about their Drama teacher, and most times they have a story to tell about how that teacher helped them/changed them. That is what I can't wait for...

These Bandages
Cover More Than Scrapes
Cuts and Bruises
From Regrets and Mistakes


So, I got to be Head Carp for first semester, then Lead Painter for the second group of shows, and then 1/2 ASM for Red Noses "Picnic;" "On a Winter's Night;" "Alberta Rose;" & "Dreaming and Duelling" .... as well as the "Red Noses" death - done forever! On to... nothing. Sad, really.

i walk alone
think of home
memories
of long ago
no one knows
i lost my soul long ago

remembering the
one i left at home
forget about the
life i used to know
forget about the
one i left at home




i know by the time i finish this line
i hear this on the radio





Jessika...

20 years old. Single.d Out. Female. Loves animals. Enjoys theatre. Favourite colour is blue. Likes the smell of rain. Has multiple body modifications. Brown eyes. Doesn't eat spicy food. Is always cold. People person. Loves working with friends. Adores children. Soundtracks life. Has one younger brother. Talker. Listener. Hard. Soft. Rough. Tender. Independant. Leo. Trusting. Goal driven. Hands-on. Hates cubicles. Server. Friend. Outgoing. Long, dark, uneasy hair. New, short, easy hair. Broke. Faithful. Not. Always changing. Has a harsh temper. Quiet. Loud. Interested. Unemployed. Mother. Fattening. Hurt.
There.
[/size]

ENJOYANCES

Theatre - especially teching it up. It is insane that school can be this much fun; plus it is the only thing I can do well, enjoy and get paid for all at once
Techies - they understand where the weirdness comes from; i love Sophie, Henry & George; the disco dancing wheel of doom
Tech nights - "jell-o," security guards, whipped cream, statues and parks (esp. jurassic ones); poker and i never
The Tables - unless Matt is hiding in the roof with the bunnies.. i hear they were easily taken away, shame on those involved
Actors - like Zach, Jon P., Andrew & Kristy, and not the ones who don't know where their shoes are
School - because I have fun when it is not boring (obviously)
Chinooks - being warm is super awesome great
CSI - because i wish i was that smart
Living on Rez - because i didn't have to get up early
Little things in life - Watching melted snow water travel slowly down the parking lot; finding frozen footprints; snow piles; seeing fuzzy animals play; the smell of pavement after a rain shower; listening to snow fall; observing ants carry things; the hug of someone who cares; admiring the changing night sky
Tom Cat - b/c he thinks he is a dog and loves me lots
Music - and that no one else likes what i do, and it puts me to sleep... I'm slowly finding people with similar tastes though... 3DG --- FLOOR TICKETS; they were fan-fucking-tastic
Shame - because I don't seem to have any
Icecream - you scream, we all scream for icecream.... ohkay; i love the stuff from Marble Slab (Tickleberry's is in second)
A clean room - because it rarely happens, so I enjoy when it does
Billy Talent - because Shakespeare has talent (?????) FLOOR TICKETS; again, another fan-fucking-tastic time
The Universal Dance - because you can do the robot to EVERY SONG!
July - because it is warm and nice and then there is still a month left until school (if you are going back)
Geeks - like Jerry (who is the geekiest geek to ever geek) and those at Shakespeare Fest (lol)---> i'm proud of my geek badge, though I can't seem to find it right now
Teaching - because, really, i just get to hang out with interesting kids and help them find their passion; i can't believe the talent some kids have and they don't even realize it... like N, S, J, Mason, and T....
Mini-reunions - going down south and seeing my pre-school buds was weird, but kewl
Pictures - b/c you can always remember the fun times
Old Skool CDs - like Dance Mix '95 and Big Shiny Tunes 2 !!!! and i enjoy when kenky's friends like 'em too




wanna make out
and kiss hard
wait
never mind

it's only just a crush
it will go away
it's just like all the others
it will go away

i want to hold you close
skin pressed against me tight
lie still; close your eyes girl
so lovely; it feels so right
i want to hold you close
soft breath; beating heart
as i whisper in your ear
i want to fucking tear you apart

now a little crush turned into a like
and now he wants to grab her by the hair
and tell her

ANNOYANCES

School - because i never leave... ohkay, i actually love it and miss it! (dork!!)
Lethbridge - because i have to go there, despite the wind... one day... maybe
SFU - because it took my Kar away and can go stfu
Computers - i hate them (or, more like they dislike me)
V-town - because it is boring (but beautiful)
Losing my maglight - especially on days i actually need it, but i have it back now.. it's in my purse, or maybe that's just a c-wrench
Public Transit - i always miss the bus, or it is super late; or sketchy drunk guys try to pick you up by telling you that "you have nice knees," and people look at you funny when you "slice bananas, slice, slice bananas"
My bed - i miss the princess bed and my Jr's naps
Cold - because it is cold
Walls - especially ones with holes in them --- i tricked them though, i haven't been fined
Sterph - cuz she gets songs stuck in my head (i actually love her and miss her and wish her the best in Montreal!!)
Rye - b/c I drink Vodka easier afterwards silly easter bar tender ... irony
Jessica Alba - b/c I read the article in Rolling Stones about her, and she is freakin perfect! thus, i love her... lol
Work - b/c it makes me sick; i don't perma-smell like coffee anymore at least
Keyboards - you need them to type... weird, who woulda thought?
Long weekends - b/c my room mates ditch me and leave me alone to work the whole weekend
My ears - esp. when people touch them, like Zach - but i'm over it now
Non-universal dancers - they just don't get it; the Robot is the best ever!!
My beast - b/c it died; otherwise i miss it "i hate everything about you, why do i love you?" ah.. so true...



brakes lock
hear the tires squeal
red light
can't stop
so i spin the wheel
my world goes black
before i
feel an angel steal me from
the greedy jaws of death and chance
and pull me in with steady hands
giving me a second chance
the artist in the ambulance

LATEST BLOG ENTRY

 
05:44pm | Jul 13, '05 | No Comments
I never knew I could have my own blog! Not that I'll ever use it, it is just nice to know I could if i wanted to.