Indian Giver (I turned my back)
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Today at 12:00am
You are a shadow now. And I can't conjure the image that was printed on my eyelids after each breath between us. The words I draw are heavy and reluctant, hanging onto the tissues of my mind with tiny frozen fingers. I feel I need to put you to phrases. But I've thrown all my effort into forgetting it all. Pushed my shoulder against the door to keep your memory out. Put the blinders made of distance up because I didn't want to hurt. I didn't need to see the destruction lain in my wake, the razor blades of silence, pins and needles of new love. You're numb and alone and So thick in my dust as I sped off that I don't see you. Because I turned my back. Out of sight, out of my mind, but I know I sit in yours, fermenting, stewing in God knows what. And I've rooted a poison in you. because I turned my back. And I tore you down, I ripped you up and sent you to the wind. And I have searched for those fragments but the time as snatched them away from me and it served me right. Because I turned my back, and the world went on behind it. I didn't want the problems of another clamoring in my head, trying to prevent the premature death of my found soft silence. I turned away from each piercing smile each sodden tear each silly word written on paper and sent to you. I took away those promises of forever and the poems of true love. Obsolete ideas, I paid them no mind, they held no weight. Turned away from the safety in your arms, hidden in the eye of the storm as hell broke loose around us. I blamed it on change, the innevitability as time passes and tears the canvas down with relentless fingernails. I can't say what's to blame but I know I'm the only one at fault. I want this to speak I'm sorry. I don't know how I wrote this, it was not planned. But now that it's out the first step has been taken.
from dre
iv read this over and over in my head....upsetting me more and more every time =( im lost in the words again, of what used to be... a cluster of feelings and emotions all trying to express at the same time; but since they cant escape i shut down. hoping that reading it again i will understand. hoping that id see it how your emotions would express it. do you want me out of your life for good?? or are you saying the oppositeżż i honestly dont know... but im glad you do understand that i went from #1 to ignored in a matter of 1 day and im glad to hear that you just pushed me out......... what were those ilu from behind the door?? were they just words? what do you mean the 1st step has been taken? to hurt and cofuse me more?!? i dont know im so lost and full of mixed feelings....i care to much and i wonder if i should care the way you do? but y would i force a friend away................
Share
Today at 12:00am
You are a shadow now. And I can't conjure the image that was printed on my eyelids after each breath between us. The words I draw are heavy and reluctant, hanging onto the tissues of my mind with tiny frozen fingers. I feel I need to put you to phrases. But I've thrown all my effort into forgetting it all. Pushed my shoulder against the door to keep your memory out. Put the blinders made of distance up because I didn't want to hurt. I didn't need to see the destruction lain in my wake, the razor blades of silence, pins and needles of new love. You're numb and alone and So thick in my dust as I sped off that I don't see you. Because I turned my back. Out of sight, out of my mind, but I know I sit in yours, fermenting, stewing in God knows what. And I've rooted a poison in you. because I turned my back. And I tore you down, I ripped you up and sent you to the wind. And I have searched for those fragments but the time as snatched them away from me and it served me right. Because I turned my back, and the world went on behind it. I didn't want the problems of another clamoring in my head, trying to prevent the premature death of my found soft silence. I turned away from each piercing smile each sodden tear each silly word written on paper and sent to you. I took away those promises of forever and the poems of true love. Obsolete ideas, I paid them no mind, they held no weight. Turned away from the safety in your arms, hidden in the eye of the storm as hell broke loose around us. I blamed it on change, the innevitability as time passes and tears the canvas down with relentless fingernails. I can't say what's to blame but I know I'm the only one at fault. I want this to speak I'm sorry. I don't know how I wrote this, it was not planned. But now that it's out the first step has been taken.
from dre
iv read this over and over in my head....upsetting me more and more every time =( im lost in the words again, of what used to be... a cluster of feelings and emotions all trying to express at the same time; but since they cant escape i shut down. hoping that reading it again i will understand. hoping that id see it how your emotions would express it. do you want me out of your life for good?? or are you saying the oppositeżż i honestly dont know... but im glad you do understand that i went from #1 to ignored in a matter of 1 day and im glad to hear that you just pushed me out......... what were those ilu from behind the door?? were they just words? what do you mean the 1st step has been taken? to hurt and cofuse me more?!? i dont know im so lost and full of mixed feelings....i care to much and i wonder if i should care the way you do? but y would i force a friend away................
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