I’m feeling heavy, heavy in the sense that I’m weighed down by something bigger than me. I don’t understand, because I don’t have any pressure on me at all. Things are going so well, so so so well. So I don’t understand why it hurts me when I wake up, because I realize that I’m awake. Knowing that I have to carry on for the next day weighs me down. Even taking a simple breath is becoming a chore for me. I'm not sure whats going on. really.
I know this seems stupid, as if I’m just complaining to complain, but it scares me.

I hate having to convince myself that I have to be alive, that there is no other choice but to live with this heaviness.


I’m probably being really stupid. So this was probably pointless.

I just want you that's it. All your flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, jokes, sarcasm. Everything. I just want you.