Good girls are just smart bad girls that don't get caught
![]()
A good mum lets you lick the beaters. A great mum turns off the mixer first.
![]()
If vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what’s baby oil made of?
![]()
If you can’t laugh at yourself, make fun of other people.
![]()
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
![]()
If things get any worse, I’ll have to ask you to stop helping me.
![]()
I used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead
![]()
I can only please one person per day. Today isn't your day...and tomorrow don't look good either
![]()
What happens if you get scared half to death twice
![]()
Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded
![]()
No one dies a virgin, life screws us all
![]()
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think ‘what if I were an ant. Then it wouldn’t seem quite so funny.’
![]()
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
![]()
You know what? To be loved, you have to be nice to people, every day. But to be hated, you don't have to do squat.
![]()
I can't make you want me,
All I can do is stalk you and hope you give in
![]()
When i was born the doctor came into the waiting room and told my dad "im sorry we did everything we could but he pulled through"
![]()
-My teacher says that real beauty is on the inside.
-That’s just something ugly people say
[/color]A good mum lets you lick the beaters. A great mum turns off the mixer first.
If vegetable oil is made of vegetables, what’s baby oil made of?
If you can’t laugh at yourself, make fun of other people.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If things get any worse, I’ll have to ask you to stop helping me.
I used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead
I can only please one person per day. Today isn't your day...and tomorrow don't look good either
What happens if you get scared half to death twice
Cheerleaders are dancers who have gone retarded
No one dies a virgin, life screws us all
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think ‘what if I were an ant. Then it wouldn’t seem quite so funny.’
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
You know what? To be loved, you have to be nice to people, every day. But to be hated, you don't have to do squat.
I can't make you want me,
All I can do is stalk you and hope you give in
When i was born the doctor came into the waiting room and told my dad "im sorry we did everything we could but he pulled through"
-My teacher says that real beauty is on the inside.
-That’s just something ugly people say