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Family </3
You people are the hardest people to get along with !!!
Anytime you think I have some kind of "tone" to my voice I'm the bad guy throwing a hissy fit and causing a huge fight this is bullshit I can't talk to you people with out you turning on me and twisting my words so fuck you too! Don't worry I don't need anymore encouragement from you to move out so stfu.

You cheated on me if you can't admit to it I don't want anything to do with you stop trying to say I'm guilting you over this when I'm not. your guilty for a reason.

Everything is crashing down around me... I'm not sure how I feel about this..
 
My day started at 4pm.

Surprise?

Not really, lately I've been more nocturnal than usual I guess it's just a byproduct of my life and who I am. Not being able to find a job has really started to effect my mental health and social life.

Flash forward to 6pm, I met up with a friend of mine who I've known for a long time but recently we've gotten closer than we've ever been. It's weird when you have people in your life and you don't realize how good of friends they can be.Human contact. I'm not sure how we go about finding people who wont destroy us.. because EVERYONE lies now. Everyone tries to make up stories about their lives, which never happened. The question is WHY. My words here won't be lies, my words here will be the truth, take it or leave it.

SO,
We met up for dinner and a walk in the park, that was only just the beginning of our crazy night, Toronto is such a diverse place and when you open yourself up to it, crazy shit starts to happen and the people you meet and the things you see are ridiculous.

Our walk began on Lakeshore Blvd East. We were heading to Tommy Thompson Park, a wilderness within the city, right on the coastline of the industrial part of my neighbourhood. As we were walking we had just lit up a cigarette and two rabbits that crossed our path, now in Toronto you have to realize, wildlife is very hard to come by as we have destroyed basically all natural habitat they had left. The rabbits were of great significance to us, the rabbit symbolizes a guide and shows us what path to take. There is a large distance between us and the park, it's all gravel and industrialized. Nature Destroyed, nothing left but concrete and dust, after walking for a good 10 minutes we get to the edge of the park, there is two giant cement blocks about 3 feet high, we stop and prep ourselves for whatever else the journey may bring to us.

We start along the path, there is coffee cups and litter everywhere, we don't care though, we are there for the beauty of the trees and nature [something we never get to see in the city] as we walk her and I talk relieving our stresses from the day and becoming more in tune with our surroundings. As we get closer to the water we see a person emerge from the bushes, a very peculiar looking person, about 5 foot 9 with scraggly redish brown hair, freckles and not sure about his/her gender at this point.

He/she approached us and asked for a cigarette politely and said "you two are white witches aren't you." startled her and I say, "how did you know that" and then the stranger proceeded to say to me "I just saw a fox and a rabbit, do you have camera's in your eyes?" referring to my contact lenses... "You are digital and electronic. or not yet anyways."

This not only shocked me but also my friend, how did this person know we were witches? Our pentacles were not exposed and we were not in our robes, then to proceed and know that I am into computers and being a Cyborg/Transhumanist.. Moved by what this person said we proceeded on into the park and went our seperate ways. My friend and I at this point are now at the water, behind us is a clearing in the tree's where a tree has fallen within a circle of other trees. The smell of Lake Ontario with the wind blowing on our faces made me realize the true power of mother nature, I have been so disconnected living in the downtown core, I don't get to experience it as often as I would like. We keep walking along our path finally finding a place in which we can empower a Sigil for a friend of my friends, after we bless and do what we were doing we got up and walked some more.

We get to a small hill, "lets go to the top" I say, climbing up it, my friend and I notice what's on the other side. It's like a mini city, filled with cinder blocks stacked up and up all over the place with tree's and grass growing in between them, we are amazed. Who took the time to build these structures? They are so sparsely and densely placed and SO MANY of them it would have taken a human a very long time to have done this, and in the middle of no where? In a park so far out from the city. The biggest tree which reminds me of a "town hall" type place is surrounded by bricks, hundreds of red bricks. I am for certain this is where Fairies live. The ground is just so magical, looking over the water. It's like something out of a fiction novel but so vivid and real to actually see it in person. The energy that place gives off is amazing and I want to go back, soon. It's a get away from the rest of the world.

My friend and I decide it's time to leave as we have an Art show to attend in Kensington Market, so we go on our way to Queen st, we see the same two rabbits we did on the way to the park again. This time with a small baby as well on the way. Leaving this place was like leaving a mythical land and returning into a metropolis.

We get on the Queen st car Westbound, the car quickly fills us with tattooed boys, homeless people and asians. My friend and I converse and are excited about the art show we are about to see. I know the artist through facebook but have never actually met him in person. My friend invited her friend to come along. Once we get off at Spadina we go into the McDonalds it's "dollar daze" any size drink for 1$. She buys me a drink and we head north into Chinatown trying to make it to Kensington Market to meet her friend.

Finishing up our root beer by the time we get to the market we find a garbage bin to throw our cups in, her friend shows up. His name is Shawn, a punk kid, couple of dreads attached to his head, glasses, sporting a backpack and is wearing torn up patchy clothing. Typical grunge kid you'd see around. He's on a skateboard, we reach him by the time we get to Bellevue Park.

[Bellevue Park: an interesting park in the middle of the city where hippies go to do a lot of drugs, dance, hangout. It's a great park with lot's of interesting people of every social circle, Me and another friend go here often.]

The park is pumping tonight with drummers and the smell of weed fills the air, we aren't going into the park just yet.. we are heading to the art show. We walk up Augusta ave it's dark out and still warm. We reach the Art Gallery, it's unique building, "barn" shaped and a giant alien head is painted on the top floor of it the bottom half has a patio space with bunch of artists who sit outside and paint, sew, and do other things. We stop for another smoke before going in, we see lot's of people going in and out of the gallery, I receive a call from a friend who want's me to do her and a bunch of tranny escorts make-up for the night, sadly I'm not in my neighbourhood and have prior commitments.

After going in and viewing all the artwork and saying hello to a couple of people we know, realizing we can't afford to buy anything because everything was over 200$ we decide to go to the park where the hippies are drumming. Walking into the park we get asked "need some weed, got some purple for you" this was just the start to the events that were about to unfold. Shawn, Rosie, and I head over to the swings. The usual druggies and kandy kids are playing on the slides, finding their own way to happiness. We start swinging for what seemed like hours but was probably only a few minutes. The cities light pollution blocks out the stars, so we have a pretty skyline to look at instead.

Inner city kids, homeless youth are chattering away, talking about all their problems and trying to find peace and solace with know each other. Strangers sharing their life stories. A regular occurrence at this park.

Getting nautious from the swings we head over to some grass, checking for meth or heroin needles before we sit down. The breeze is warm and the love and energy of the hippies drumming and dancing really makes the environment a nice place to be. 10:30pm laying down, talking about "Culture Jamming" with a post punk kid, a Witch, and a genderless tattooed pink fuck. Welcome to my life.

We leave the park a few hours later, after seeing a few familiar faces. We walk up Spadina ave and run into a bunch of University students filming a video for a school project or Youtube....
Does anyone in this city work? The Annex at Bloor is just as busy as the park and people are everywhere, dancing, singing. So strange, these are the stories people in small towns never get to hear. We have another cigarette before getting to Spadina Station. Rosie & I say our goodbyes to Shawn and make our way onto the subway, noticing a few friends on the other side of the tracks we wave before getting onto the train.

Flashforward.

I slip into this self-induced coma...maybe it is the fear to which I am addicted, becoming a strain.
Maybe it is a million memories. Maybe it's Nostalgia.

....... what am I doing now?
Sitting behind my computer, the blue glow is illumination my room. When my beautiful tattooed limbs and fingers are typing I feel peace. When I molest the keyboard like this I end up post-coital, relieved. Breathing heavily and taking everything into account. I don't really...conceive. I don't plan to write so much, it just happens. Dangerous because I like to be open and writing SOOTHES me because it's the only time I get to really say whatever the fuck I like without having to worry about what people might think.

Insecure and the most secure. All at once. I'm a product of the chemical age. A chemical kid, amphetemine-after-effect birth-defect. Lipstick Stains and Fake Eyelashes. My summer has just begun.

Tonight was just another night in my life, crazy, just like every other.

Until next time
Love + Lipstick
Jeffree.
 
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