So I watched a movie tonight and it started the little amount of brain juice I have left to start thinking again. Today I received a phone call from a friend when I was sleeping and I was hardly awake when talking on the phone. She sounded ok at first and when I said I was going to go back to sleep, I heard sadness in her voice. I could hear her boyfriend yelling in the background and then I totally woke up. I told her to meet me at the McDonalds and for her to tell me what was going on. I rushed from my house and waited for an hour and a half for her at the McDonalds.
She didn’t show up, so I left, and I was scared.
I was scared of thinking that this was happening all over again except now with my peers. There are so many young adults making decisions that are so wrong for them without them even knowing what they are doing to themselves. I am so fucking tired of seeing my friends having to carry knives in their bags and guns under their pillows. I am tired of seeing young girls all bruised up and with no life in their eyes anymore. the young men who try so hard to impress others to show that they are tough and now they are getting their asses thrown in jail. I am tired of only being able to talk to my friends only after they have smoked their drugs to feel normal.
I had to deal with this first hand and now my life has been the result since the day I was born. My mother was a teenage mother and my father a hells angel. I have seen the pain, and felt the pain and I am soo fucking tired of others not being able to make conscious decisions about their future.
I want to walk in school and have no one pay attention to me because I am tired of the bullshit. I want the adults that lead our lives to understand what is going on. Our school system and our city and all the people of this so called great place need to take off their blinders. I am fucking tired of people telling us that we cannot change the world. when we are told this we are told to give up hope. If I didn’t have hope in my life I wouldn’t be here today and same with probably half of teenagers everywhere. If we are told that we are useless we shall become useless. If we are told that we cannot graduate, we will give up, if we are told that we cannot stop the wars around us....we will die with the rest of them.
I am tired of being in this category and I am terrified that I will never get out of it. we lose so many people that surround us every day, that we may never even notice. The day the government says we are adults is the day we turn blind. As the adults of tomorrow I think it is about fucking time to do something. My words are very scattered but I hope you understood it. I am sending this to as many people as I can, and I would like it if it keeps getting forwarded to more people and to the person that has sent it to you. Let others know this is not a lost hope. I am tired of only seeing change in movies, let’s be the change.