music
take me away
make me loose it all
make me forget it
take me away
let that beat flow
let that drop pound
take me to that place
that reminds me of nothing
and for some reason i cant not help but smile
make me feel wanted
make me feel so high
i wont ever be touched
as long as those beats are pumping
ill never be down
this worlds black and white
until you blast a beat threw it
thats when you see the true colors
and see what a wonderful world we live in
with out music i wouldnt still be standing

emo flooring
that shitll cut itsself

those nights of layin out under the stars
her head on your chest
skippin beats
when you looked into her eyes
and all you felt was her love a feeling
you could never explain
every time i see a star i freeze up
soon as pearls done straight out to
elbow falls
ill just lay there on the rocks
stare at the stars and prey
shes maybe lookin at the same one thinkin
about me
maybe wishin what i am
i think i can live without you
im strong enough
but hun i just wish you knew
how much happier i would be if you
wanted to be in my life....

loves that feeling of workin your ass off too build something
when you finish it
you just cant describe the feeling

that moment where you actually realize nobody gives a shit bout you...
theyll morn for a week or two
but its just you alone
see if they miss you when your gone ? theyll said a text or two
wondering
where you gone
but then itll turn into your an asshole
because you ignore them
and hey i guess that im cool with that
because youll actually search
if you care.
i dont plan on search i plan on hidin

i want to join you jj i dont think i can stand tall anymore i feel weak and worthless
i feel like everything i do is redundent...
i feel as if the no matter what i do
i do wrong...
i can put a smile on... but i cant hold it...
i break down
i cry
i try to stand up with that look of i dont give a fuck
but i do and i dont want to anymore...
yeah its the pussys way out
i know its pathetic..
but when you feel ...
like your worthless to everyone around you...
when you look at yourself in the mirror and you cant stand yourself
were you walk outside to the world and feel
as if everything your gonna do is gonna be a mistake...
i just want to make this pain stop...
i cant stand this feeling....
yeah people say im matter and blah blah
but to her i dont
to me i dont
i used to be able to stand tall at the top
with a crumbling world around me..
but now i stand at the top of my world crumbled
hurt
wounded
just begging for death
so i guess what im kinda sayin
is can i join you?
you know i am strong but
even a strong man crumbles and cant stand tall anymore.....
yeah people are worse off blah blah blah
but im not them
im where i am
and i just dont see it getting better...
i wanna be held
i want to be wanted again
i just dont want this anymore
it hurts
i miss you bro..
i miss her...
i miss how things used to be back when
i was down somebody would answer me...
make me feel okay...
now i call out yeah people answer...
but it doesnt feel like everythings okay
i dont want to be here anymore....
i want a place were the emotional pain stops....
i never thought i desrved this....
no matter how i look at it
i fucked up im a mistake
it just hurts so bad
i lost everything the day she left
look at me man...
i fuck everything up ... i wanna just give up im worthless
i wanna drive i dont wanna stop maybe if im lucky the road will stop ...
ill park pearl at the edge of the cliff....
leave a note.... saying i kept my promise...
why didnt you keep yours.....
and just leap
who knows maybe i wont see you when its dark... but the pain will stop...
i miss you man
i miss her....
i miss when life actually mattered...
yes i know theres alot of i's but its not selfish
i dont wanna hurt anyone
but why should i suffer ....
how is that fair to me....

hey buddy
hows it up there?
i guess we could say you found your red barn eh?
how was the flight there?
was it worth it
cause from where im standing
it sure dont feel it
i try hard not to think of that night i heard
but its like a moment in life
were youll never forget
and somedays it seems so faint

yet so near
you were a brother
a gong show
just a great time
and full of stupid ideas
but that red barn you promise
it would be when we were 60 not 18
theres 42 years of stupidity and great times
that are now meaningless
i saw the red barn the other day
the one that would of ended our days
but now im left standing here
lonely some might say
missing a part of family
i miss you jj
ill join you someday .....
just not today....

dude . . .
this fuckin sucks man

the reason i stand on the edge of the cliff is because if i jump
ill find a real one in life to jump off
ill kill myself
suicide is an everyday thought
and no i never said this was your fault good try
dont put those words in my mouth
there isnt a thing you can do and no
i cant let go because i have tried
i have fuckin tried
i have tried everythin possible
you dont fuckin understand how bad i want to
so call me what ever you want but the thing is
im thick skulled
bound to die some day
and you just dont get it
when someone falls in love
the way i fell
there is not a thing that can make it hurt less
i fuckin trusted you never to lie to me
and her never to break my heart
and look what it did
so id rather stick in the past and not get hurt again
than move on
and get shit on even worse next time
ALYSSA
you dont get me .
maybe if you sat back and actuall realized
everythning that happend
and realized how much it hurt me
or that im not an asshole
that i actually care and have feelings
and that when you trust someone that your not scared to
be yourself than you might realize
what happend
didnt look or sound bad
but IT FUCKING HURT

wow you really are fuckin pathetic i no longer have respect for u

dear ginga

i will one day kill u so u can no longer contaminate this world with fire and yo ginga ness
and yes i will always critizize u on ur mistakes
like guy
not gee
its fuckin guy how many fuckin times do u have to be tought how to pronoice a word !
guy= french faggot homo who drops soap in jail cause he can
lmao ginga ur ma sis from a mista wait no eww i dont wanna think of how u got here wait . . . .
some alien fucked up and burned u . . . .and made u apper . . ?
does that work for u cause it works in my head . . . .
but u no what . . . . .
wait a second how come u freckle when the sun hits u . . . . ?
wtf r u like a uv dectector ? so if i wear u like a hat ? u will be able to b like shit stay inside theres fuckin uv rays everywhere imma burn !!!!!!
but if ur on fire . . . . how come ur so white ? ? ?
dear alyssa u make no fuckin sense . . . . like common since now wdays cant even figure it out what the shit ? thats completely un human ur an aleien its official deal ?

and whays i dont no what i just wrote i will read over it after but i figured me ramboling might make snesne to someone cause fuck if it makes sense to me
but anyways u just spent 30 seconds inside zacks head plz dont visit again lmao well maybe but only if its writen comformation . . . . .

loves u ginga my sista